Questions made for the night

Night I:

I’m in my thirties. Am I where I thought I would be? Will I always be renting? When will I be able to buy a house? I’m still single? I’m really still single? But am I not happy with all this time to myself? Or do I wish I could share it with someone else? Am I not glad I don’t have to depend on someone else? Or do I wish I had someone special to depend on? How am I still confused about life in my thirties?

Night II:

Am I searching for the next best thing? Am I feeling overwhelmed by work? Am I bored? Do I possess any talents? Should I transform my hobbies into a source of income? Should I consider selling items online? Do I enjoy my job because I’m doing what I love? Will I eventually start to loathe my job because doing what I love is exhausting me?

Night III:

Am I getting closer to what I want? Do I need to doubt myself at every step? Is imposter syndrome preventing me from achieving my goals? Do I lack confidence? Will I ever have enough confidence to pursue my dreams? Why do I feel the need to compare myself to others? When will I stop comparing myself to others? Why do I strive for perfection? What does perfection even mean? When will I be enough?

Night IV:

I fall asleep in front of the T.V so that I don’t have to think.

Night V:

A repeat of Night I with some further questions to haunt myself with:

Should I start dating again soon, even though I am afraid of getting hurt? Is it better to take the risk to find love instead of not loving at all? Do I truly know what love is? Will anyone ever love me? Am I meant to be in a relationship? Is there something wrong with me that prevents me from finding love?

Night VI:

Am I grateful enough for my life? Can I complain, or am I complaining too much? How can I be a better person? How can I help others? Can I even help myself? Is anything within my control?

Night VII:

Do I prioritize others over myself? Do they consider my needs? Do I treat myself fairly? Can’t I accept myself as I am? Am I overthinking? Does anyone else overthink?

—

And that is my lullaby for restless sleep. Am I missing anything?

Your everyday girl,

Sara