Your Everyday Girl

I look up from my laptop and gaze at my calendar hanging ever so perfectly on my bedroom wall. My calendar reminds me that I have bills to pay again in a week’s time. A week’s time. I’m about to look up the website where I can sell feet pics in order to pay off these bills. I type the URL into the search bar online and before I can hit enter, I delete the whole thing. Is it a shameful thing to sell feet pics? I don’t know why, but my shame takes hold of me and so I forget it all together.

I have a job, but my bills need two more jobs in order to get things paid off without any worries. So, what do I do exactly? Oh I know, in order to deal with my financial issues, I’ll just go make myself a coffee. That will help. I walk to the living room, my beautiful living room that keeps me feeling safe and protected, but also scares me because it eats my pay faster than I can eat a cookie (and let me tell you, that’s real fast). But here we are now, in front of the coffee machine and about to pour an espresso to allow myself a moment’s peace. But that moment’s peace is rudely interrupted by a notification on my phone.

“Hi Sara,

There’s an estatement available for your account.

You can visit the eStatements page in My Accounts to review your latest statement. 

If you have any questions or need more help, contact us at 1 800-XXX-XXXX. 

Thanks for choosing X Bank”

Oh, how cruel our banking institutions can be. This email is so polite that I can’t even be mad at it. But then again, not getting mad at it only angers me even more. As if I don’t already know that I have my bills available to view online. I’m just trying to avoid them, don’t they get that?

Now, I pour my espresso with anxiety and panic in the mix. What a great combination, as if the caffeine doesn’t already help with that. I make my way to my desk and decide to get back to work, but I’m drained from sleepness nights and an empty wallet. So instead, I get up from my seat to go and lay in defeat on the couch that is supposed to comfort me. I am now somehow on thought #33 and I don’t even remember how I got here. It’s like a dream you wake up from where you remember the details, but very rarely do you remember how it first began.

I can’t catch a break. Just saying that out loud makes me feel inadequate. My wallet and my incessant bills have become tools to measure my worth. And how can I not feel that way when every little thing I do relates to money. Is this what our world has become? A world full of people living paycheque-to-paycheque? Is this how it will always be?

I hear stories of multi-billionaires who pay celebrities millions to perform at their parties. I hear stories of celebrities flying around the world with their private jets. I hear stories of CEOs who make five to ten times more than their hardworking employees. I hear stories of money laundering and think how the hell do people get away with this shit?

And now this is thought #38 of the day, how did our world get to such a state where both income inequality and wealth inequality is so high? So, The rich just keep getting richer, eh? You and I, we can’t catch a break, can we?

I sit up and stare at the wall in my living room. It’s the least I can do since I’m paying for it.

Your everyday girl,

Sara