Your Everyday Girl

I’m about to tell you a story; maybe you’ll learn a new lesson to add to your list by the time you finish reading this. But mostly, I hope it makes you laugh.

I got to try out the latest coffee collaboration with Nespresso and Oatly, and I’m not going to lie – it’s not bad. Alright, stay with me now.

I went into Nespresso with my huge -40 winter jacket and earmuffs on, sweating buckets, but I didn’t take my jacket off because then I’d have to carry the dead weight in my arms. I saved my bag-carrying arms for the new coffee pods I was about to purchase.

One of the sales reps told me that I could try out the new Nespresso X Oatly pods before buying. I’m grateful for this. Once upon a time, I bought a flavor that I wasn’t a huge fan of, and it didn’t occur to me that I should try it before purchasing. I think that’s one reason why I enjoy the Nespresso shopping experience.

I stepped over to the cafe counter (coffee bar?) and waited there, hoping I wouldn’t pass out in the store. I leaned against the counter, it kept me steady. I don’t know what’s worse: the scorching summer heat or wearing a hundred layers in the winter to stay warm.

That was when I noticed a man walk in. He wasn’t the kind of handsome man that turns heads; he was just a man. He glided into Nespresso with an air of confidence, as if he owned the store. He walked right past the sales reps —Okay, sure?— and straight towards the café counter (or do we call it a coffee bar??) and sat down, making himself at home.

“Here you go,” the sales rep caught me off guard and handed me the freshly made coffee. I took a couple sips from my cup and that’s when my body heats up further. I started telling myself it’s okay: drinking something hot when you are already feeling hot will only stabilize your body temperature. At least, that’s what I’ve been told multiple times. I looked back at the highly confident man who was highly comfortable in his seat, making such light-hearted conversation with the sales rep to who he gave his coffee order to.

I’m sorry, is this a Starbucks? I seemed to have missed the part where this is a real cafe. I get it, I was drinking a coffee too, but I entered the store with the intent to buy. And I completed my purchase about five or six sips into my drink.

The sales rep handed me my bag of coffee pods, “Thank you, you can return to the bar now to continue drinking your coffee.” And so I did what I had to do. I returned to the bar as if we were two magnets, unable to resist one another.

And that was when I noticed a woman enter the shop. She walked straight to the man who was milking the heck out of that conversation with the sales rep at the bar. She also made herself at home, but with a slight air of arrogance. I rolled my eyes (in my mind), but they were just glued to my phone.

“Can I have the one that looks pink? It’s so cute!” she says kindly, but it seems more like a demand than an ask. I was confused. What the heck was she talking about? A pink pod? You would think I would notice pink coffee pods! She had also made her order too. I suppose she thought she was at Starbucks as well.

But I had to know if this was to lead to a purchase. I had invested too much sweat to get up and leave.

So I pulled out my phone, scrolled through Instagram and continued sipping my coffee. On Instagram, I scrolled through 7 or 8 useless posts about celebrities and then came across one post that was worth a read. And I know, it’s funny, here I was wasting spending my precious time trying to comprehend this delicate shopping experience of a middle-aged man and his middle-aged wife/partner/girlfriend/friend. I don’t like to assume things. Plus, I don’t think I saw any rings.

If you know me then you’d know that I’m a very patient person. You couldn’t rush me even if you tried.

That was when the audacity of this woman surprised me. She received her coffee, looked like she was enjoying it, and interrupted the ongoing conversation with, “The first sip was perfect, I could taste the flavour, but after that it’s flat.” It felt like I was watching a terrible (and flat) episode of a reality series. I wanted to ask her, “Why did you finish the whole cup then?” But I couldn’t do that, it would have ruined the reason why I was there. To know if they were going to buy something.

I got the sense that it was time for them to get up. They had been loitering for much too long. Your gut is the greatest psychic you may ever know. The woman casually rose from her seat and fled the store first. The man says to the sales rep behind the coffee bar, “But the coffee has become very expensive, hasn’t it?”

THERE IT WAS. THE SIGN. THE SIGN THAT A PURCHASE WAS NOT GOING TO BE MADE. The middle-aged man had prepared for this. His boo seemed well-versed in freebies too. Whatever, I had deduced that they were partners.

I felt so proud that I was about to be right. It was as if the universe wanted me to witness this significant moment. Yet, that high feeling subsided pretty quickly just like the fun buzz from drinking a couple martinis. I was also slightly dizzy from the heat too. How do detectives make it look so easy?

It was official: The sales rep’s time was wasted, good coffee was wasted, and my time was wasted spent trying to uncover this random couple’s motive when my psychic gut knew it would lead to no purchase. But the thrill of it all got to me, and I knew I would have to report back to you.

• You can have the greatest marketing strategy tailored to a niche audience and still attract people your business doesn’t normally sell to.
• You can be kind and deal with kind people, but some will still take advantage of that.
• You can wear a really thick jacket outdoors in the freezing cold, but it’s okay to take it off inside.
• Some days are meant for…

You get the idea – the lessons learned are endless.

So the couple, the man and woman, got up and left. Just like that. I didn’t see any reason to stay further, so I got up and left. Just like that.

I went into the department store across Nespresso and went straight upstairs to look at a few items. I got bored quickly and hopped on the escalator to go downstairs. That was when I noticed the man and woman from the cafe, the freebie seekers now on the escalator on the opposite side, with no Nespresso bag on either of their persons. We looked straight into each other’s eyes for an eternity. The escalator was taking its sweet time – I swear it was in on this whole thing too. Neither one of us dared to look away and that was when I knew that they knew what my motive was too.

Your everyday girl,

Sara

P.S Here’s what the Nespresso X Oatly coffee pods and all look like!