Your Everyday Girl

I hated standing out when I was a kid. I absolutely despised it. From the moment I stepped into elementary school, I knew I wanted to stay away from the spotlight.

That day was the first of many years where I remained a shell of myself, a shy and quiet girl who stayed away from anything and everything for as long as she could.

My shyness never helped me. I ended up being in the spotlight somehow. I was bullied, by my friends, for many years (it all started around the sixth grade). But I never told anyone that when I was a kid. I do know that part of the reason why I was bullied was because I never spoke up. I was seen as an easy target. I looked nerdy, I wore thick glasses, and I just let kids walk all over me. I thought they would give up, but they didn’t. This continued into high school as well.

I made peace with the bullying maaaaany years ago. I had to heal on my own during my teen years, back when nobody spoke of mental health, I just had to move forward. Spells and curses would have been useful, but sadly, I was not born a witch. I never fought back. I just continued being a good friend to my “friends” until the tenth grade came around when I had had enough.

I survived. But the thing is, I shouldn’t have had to survive. I shouldn’t have been pushed into a corner and made fun of. I shouldn’t have been so silent about it. It took me so many years to become the confident person I am today – I am talking blood, sweat, and tears.

Every day I fight to prove to little me, the one who felt numb and helpless, that things can get better. I don’t avoid the spotlight anymore. Hiding away means hiding myself and I gave that up long ago.

If you are reading this and feeling like you aren’t good enough to try, to stand up, or to fight for yourself, let me assure you that you are. You are worth it. You are not meant to fade away into nothingness. Instead, you are meant to take up space on this vast planet, which was created to hold space for you.

Put yourself out there, make mistakes, take charge, be patient, and remember kindness. Growth will pull you up, failure might slow you down, but you are unstoppable.

Here are five steps I followed to gradually transform from my shy self to a more confident and strong individual:

1. I experienced a turning point in my life. There comes a moment when you start questioning your actions, and from that point, you must decide whether to continue on the same path or choose a new one. It may take time to reach this realization, but eventually, you will. Change is a conscious choice that requires effort.
2. I joined clubs. I was a part of one back in college that meant a lot to me. I met new people all while learning new material. Sometimes a new environment is what you need to kick-start the “new” you.
3. I write about my intentions. I have multiple entries in my journals detailing the goals I wanted to achieve and how I planned to turn over a new leaf. I wrote about it so often that I began to truly believe it and wanted to make it happen.
4. I find humor in embarrassment. It’s very likely that you’ll encounter an embarrassing moment or two (or even hundreds, like I have), so it’s best to just laugh it off. None of us are perfect, and embarrassing moments are not meant to harm us but to teach us. Just laugh, learn, and move on.
5. I socialize a lot. While we all have our own social battery that we manage, I encourage you to talk to people as often as you can. It can be something as simple as a “Hi!” or “Good morning!” to a neighbor. Some people may respond, some might nod, and others may not hear you at all, but that doesn’t really matter. I’ve done this so frequently that I’ve had some truly enjoyable conversations with my neighbors! With each interaction, you’ll become less shy and much more at ease.

The bullying I experienced during my teenage years highlighted my insecurities and prolonged my shyness and had held me frozen in silence. I remained in that state for quite a while. However, when the time was right, I made the effort to transform into the woman I am today.

Cheers to the shy kids who learned to become confident later in life.

Your everyday girl,

Sara